here are some ideas that don't completely ignore the geneva conventions and, ya know, human dignity...
We Have Ways to Make You Talk.
BY RALPH GAMELLI
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"How much do you think it would hurt if I were to take volume S of the Encyclopaedia Britannica and slam it shut on your nose?"
"This is my friend Ernst. He's German. He doesn't talk, but if he did, he'd speak with a thick German accent. Look at him. Look how German he is. 'Nuff said."
"No one enjoys wet socks. You should know we have plenty of water. And socks."
"See the items on this tray? You'll recognize them from your dentist's office. They tell me this one is the worst. They call it ... dental floss."
"Mr. Shin, meet Mr. Steel-Toed Boot."
"While it's true that sticks and stones will break your bones, everyone knows it's a fallacy that names will never hurt you. We've talked to some people from your past and know which names will cause the most pain, and we're prepared to use them."
"We like to pinch."
"Are you aware that Dolly Parton has recorded over 75 albums in her career? Don't make us prove it."
"Bed-wetter!"
"If you don't talk, I won't give you this dollar."
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1 comment:
More ways to make you talk:
"You know that feeling you get when you see a beautiful girl walking down the street, and after that first surge of excitement you realize that in another moment she's going to walk out of your life forever and you don't have the nerve to do anything about it except feel bitter, frustrated and hollow? We can artificially reproduce that sensation with what we have here in this syringe."
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