fire pope!!!

again, kudos to wonkette on picking this up off the ap wire:

Beloved anti-Nazi pope John Paul II is back, according to Vatican TV. And this time, he is a terrible fire monster! We know about this because we accidentally had CNN Headline News on the other day, with the sound off, for some reason we can no longer remember, and suddenly there’s a terrible picture of the dead pope next to another picture of the Fire Pope. (It was on that douchesack Glenn Beck’s show that nobody has ever intentionally watched.)

This hilarious picture of a campfire has been in every downmarket tabloid in Europe this week, and the poorer/dumber people apparently really believe the beloved pope has returned to Earth, briefly, in the form of a terrifying burning devil. Or a campfire.

The thrilling development was also on the Fox News show “Fox & Friends,” according to some people who actually watch “Fox & Friends”:

The headline read ‘Bonfire Miracle’ and underneath it said ‘Believers see Pope’s image. Several times they said that a fire would never take that shape and used the miracle word. Comments: Fox and Friends spoke several times about the miracle fire that appeared to be the Pope. Doocy said, “That’s the Pope” and Camerota said, “Absolutely.”

“Bonfire Miracle.” That is kind of awesome.

Because the Catholic god apparently has a hell of a sense of humor, when Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger dies he’s going to come back to Earth as a nice puppy.

duncan hunter defends pace

rep. duncan hunter (R and presidential candidate) tried his best not to sound more bigoted than pace did the other day when he got up and defended pace yesterday:

Rep. Duncan Hunter said that homosexual conduct "is not moral conduct" and that the right of Pace to express his views "is what Marines go to war and fight for...to have morals."

The presidential aspirant and top House Republican on military matters said that "Marines are allowed to have principals" and that in his view, Pace's views "will receive a resounding 'yes' from Marines defending our rights" to have morals and principles.

Hunter referred to the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, passed by Congress after a firestorm of debate in which advocates argued that allowing homosexuals to serve openly would hurt troop morale and recruitment and undermine the cohesion of combat units.

FACT: Seventy-three percent of service members in a recent poll said they felt comfortable around gays, lesbians and bisexuals, and 78 percent reported that the inclusion of gays, lesbians and bisexuals in the military would not avert their intentions to enlist....so I think that 78% would be more like a resounding no, congressman.

hunter even goes on to try and compare the pedophilia scandal in the Catholic Church to what would happen if gays were allowed to serve openly in the military. yeah, that exactly what would happen, right after pigs fly out of your butt. how can you even TRY to draw that comparison? what an IDIOT...who's running for president, of course.

and as for gays hurting morale and cohesion of combat units, i'm going to let MY joint chief of staff, admiral percy fitzwallace of The West Wing, answer that:


FITZWALLACE
You just don’t want to see [gays] serving in the Armed Forces?

MAJOR TATE
No sir, I don’t.

FITZWALLACE
‘Cause they oppose a threat to unit discipline and cohesion.

MAJOR TATE
Yes sir.

FITZWALLACE
That’s what I think too. I also think the military wasn’t designed to be an instrument of social change.

MAJOR TATE
Yes sir.

FITZWALLACE
The problem with that is that what they were saying to me 50 years ago. Blacks shouldn’t serve with Whites. It would disrupt the unit. You know what? It did disrupt the unit. The unit got over it. The unit changed. I’m an admiral in the U.S. Navy and chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff...Beat that with a stick.