in memory of st. rudy of 9-11...

wonkette has complied the top 6 rudy "i'm running for president of 9/11" giuliani sept. 11 references in honor of his now-imploded campaign. i know, how can you pick just six out of...well, at least 911 of them...oh rudy...

6: After Rudy placed sixth in the Iowa caucus, all the newspaper and teevee reporters wanted to know if this in any way “worried him,” it being sixth place and all. But he told the New York Daily News that it didn’t, although another time in his life something else happened and, indeed, he was worried: “None of this worries me - Sept. 11, there were times I was worried.”

5: After Hillary sobbed like a little whore in New Hampshire, the folks at MSNBC wanted to know if the Mayor of Everything ever sobbed. And he did, at the various 9/11 funerals! Was this because of the death surrounding him? Or was it then when he realized he could turn this into a lucrative “security” firm as well as a failed presidential bid?

4: When Rudy’s firewall in Florida collapsed — other humans forgot he existed after a while — he knew just the trick to win over those similarly one-track-minded Floridians: mention that 9/11 and hurricanes are both bad things, and that he should be the president by default.

3: Muslims are torturing, killing, Americans are dying, a religion bastardized, fires, mayhem, planes, illegal guns, Iran, nuclear weapons, fear, fear, jihad, Al Qaeda, no freedom, rape, Muslim rape. Image of World Trade Center rubble. Rudy’s best ad.

2. Rudy was on fire one night before the John Birch society, which drinks as much if not more blood than Rudy on a Saturday night. He let it all out:

“This war ends when they stop coming here to kill us!” Giuliani said in his speech. “Never, ever again will this country ever be on defense waiting for [terrorists] to attack us if I have anything to say about it. And make no mistake, the Democrats want to put us back on defense!” Giuliani said terrorists “hate us and not because of anything bad we have done; it has nothing to do with Israel and Palestine. They hate us for the freedoms we have and the freedoms we want to share with the world.”

1. In September — the same month that 9/11 happened several years ago — an “independent, non-denominational grass-roots campaign to raise $10,000” organized a special “theme” for its fundraiser: it requested $9.11 donations for a delightful fear party. The Giuliani team distanced itself from the private event after, you know, the media heard about it, and they even returned the $9.11 donations after many weeks. This may not have been Rudy himself, but nothing more accurately described the Giuliani Campaign’s basis for existence, ever.

what's finishing sixth in iowa feel like?

“None of this worries me - Sept. 11, there were times I was worried.” - Rudy Giuliani

ok! enough already, let just make him president of 9/11 and be done with it.



btw, nicely done young-people-who-love-the-obama...that was quite something...on to nh and maybe some more clinton-thwomping?

exploiting the 9/11 attacks for profit, rudy style

more proof that he is running for president of 9/11, not america:

dateline, washington d.c.:

"The campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Chris Dodd said Tuesday a fundraising party for Republican Rudy Giuliani seeking $9.11 each from guests exploits the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks for political purposes.

The Dodd campaign called on Giuliani to refuse the money raised at the event, saying the theme "is absolutely unconscionable, shameless and sickening." A Giuliani spokeswoman said the $9.11 idea was selected without the campaign's knowledge.

"Mr. Giuliani was quick to express much vitriol for the independent ad created by MoveOn.org last week; we would hope he would express the same kind of outrage and indignation about this group that he is the beneficiary of," Colleen Flanagan, a spokeswoman for Dodd, said in a statement released by his campaign."

a children's treasury of terrible 9/11 art

i wouldn't even try to outdo wonkette, so here is the whole piece direct from the site:

On this solemn day a half-dozen years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11 and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world that has killed some 700,000 people while finally making energy and defense stocks the solid dividend payers favored by long-term investors. Also, “September the Eleventh” has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation, along with some truly stomach-turning old-fashioned American Huckersterism.

Next, if you thought passenger jets could be terrifying weapons, you’ll truly be terrified by the giant winged baby monster:

How did such a truly awful, gut-wrenching event inspire such stupid crap? It’s just part of our modern, idiotic culture — the same mouth-breathing instinct that compels people to pile a bunch of wet stinking stuffed animals at the site of a fatal car crash, or order a hundred Thug Life “memorial T-shirts” to remember some shithead gangsta teen who got himself shot, or make a GeoCities memorial site for Princess Diana (with animated GIFs and MIDI music of “Candle In The Wind”).

Or, if you’re an entrepreneur, maybe you just manufacture some lighters in China with bas-relief images of the burning WTC towers and Osama bin Laden’s face, and when you open it, the thing will play “Für Elise” and little LEDs will blink in the “fire.”

But nothing says “We sort of had it coming” like the endless variations of the Crying Eagle.

This next one is truly emblematic of the whole pathetic trend: The fucking flag is not only somehow tattooed on the eagle’s feathers, but it’s also backwards. Show some respect, crying eagle.

While cynics will say 9/11 has been used primarily to justify a $500 billion occupation and destruction of a country that had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, optimists will point out that 9/11 could also get you a dollar-twenty-nine bag of grease fries down at the Burger King, in Hilltop Plaza:

And if the endless pictures of the Smoke Devil attached to absurd quotes from the Book of Revelations weren’t enough, somebody decided to bring attention to yet another mysterious animal shape in the smoke:

Uhhhh ….. Is it a chicken drumstick? Maybe the head of that little dude in “Gremlins”? Maybe a mooninite?

Optimists saw Jesus as the Great Destroyer.

Let’s move on:

Okay, WTF? Is this what 9/11 is like in Second Life? Is a furry going to fuck Lady Liberty, and does she have four legs or something hidden in those shadows? Because she’s obviously got some yiff scar on her left tit, maybe from a anthropomorphic fox with a 24-inch penis?

Burning? Is that really the word you want to use here?

America is back, babies!

the weiner savage on 9/11

michael savage (real name michael alan weiner, so you see why he changed it) has always been a loon of the uber-far right, but this latest rant may just take the crazy cake. a little while ago, he blamed columbine on sex-change operations. riiiiiiiiiight. now, he takes it a step further down crazy road and pulls the falwell-esque "god caused 9/11" argument together with his apparent obsession with gays and sex-change operations. from mediamatters.com:

So-called post-Christian times. The churches are emptying out, the bathhouses are filling up, the sex-change operations are speeding up, the lesbian fertility clinics are increasing around the country. And the country is on the verge of an insane breakdown....Now, you come to a point where the spiritual vacuum has emerged in the United States of America. Enter the vacuum are very religious Muslims. They don't like the stuff that I don't like, frankly. The very same things that offend me, offend them. That's the strangest part of it. As they do offend -- for example, the city manager cutting his schmekel off to become a woman. To me it's disgusting; the doctor should be arrested, their licenses taken away, they should be given 10 years in prison for what they're doing to these poor mental cases. I mean these head cases who suddenly say, "Oh, I want to be a woman, all my life, there was a woman within --" this is a mass psychosis that's going on now in America...So, as I say to go back to my primary point, and forgive me for rambling here in this kind of filibuster-y kind of manner: God abhors a spiritual vacuum. That is why he has permitted, in fact probably not only permitted, but in a way orchestrated the rise of radical Islam... It's becoming increasingly clear to me that God wants radical Islam on this planet at this time -- that it's not actually the scourge you think it is. What it is -- it's a counterpoint to the Romanization of the United States of America and the West. The collapse -- the spiritual collapse of the West, the death of the West in that regard, is being countered by the birth of fanatic religion, which is fundamentally a fanatic love of God, when you think about it...And God, who is the center of this monotheistic religion, has said, "Oh, you don't worship me anymore? Oh, you don't like me anymore? Oh, I don't exist anymore? Really? All right, I'm going to show you boys in Hollywood and you girls in New York City that I do exist. But since you're very hard-headed, stiff-necked people, and you don't really believe that I exist because you've gotten away with everything you've done all your life without any repercussions, I'm going to show you I exist in a way that you can't believe." Down came the World Trade Center towers. That was God speaking.

no, that was al qadea speaking, you idiot. and what is it with you and sex-change operations? for a guy whose name is weiner, me thinks he doth protest too much about the sex-changes.

year five begins...more hard work to come...

year five of the war in iraq has arrived, and only now does condi rice finally dip her toe in the pool of the reality-based community by saying that "the Bush administration likely erred by failing initially to send enough troops to quell the civil strife that followed the overthrow of Saddam Hussein." um, duh?! after telling the ap this, condi also "called for patience" in iraq. you can call all you want for it, you ain't getting it.

so condi, i just heard the president give the same speech he's been giving for four years. progress is being made, but it's hard work, there will be good and bad days, september 11, we got rid of a dictator, keeping us safe, 9/11, blah blah blah...i'm so sick of this i could vomit.

..so happy birthday iraq war; no offense, but i'm hoping you don't make it to your next birthday. and you are not getting a present. not even a card.